Celibacy

Not to be confused with cell-ibacy where I was without my phone for four weeks. :(

On Sunday, I cammed with a guy from Costa Rica, Francisco. We've been talking for months now (not exactly sure how we met but he does visit Miami occasionally). I know he really likes me. He's told me so. He's really cute and he's a dentist. If he worked out then I'd probably be head over heels. He told me he hadn't had sex in a really long time because he was waiting for me. A notion I'm sure is not entirely true but I guess it was kind of sweet nonetheless. He also told me he loved me. English is not his first language...

It really got me thinking. If he is waiting for me then why should I not wait for someone special. I should wait for something substantial. I'm becoming more tolerant of people's petty flaws. What once annoyed me can now be overlooked. And I'm getting to a place to where I can have sex with someone and still want to see them again. For once in my life I really feel as if I could find love and be able to hold on to it.

Later that evening, I texted Mario and his initial response was asking when we were going to hang out. I met Mario at a club early into the summer. He's a very attractive guy from Ecuador. They were playing some Latin songs in the club, me being from Miami, him from Ecuador, we were the only ones that seemed to know the music. So we naturally bonded and started dancing together. We chatted for a bit but then he had to go. About a month later, I saw him at Edmonton Pride and we started chatting again. We exchanged numbers and what not. So we decided to hang out and I thought this would be the perfect time to practice not hooking up. On Monday, we went to Mongolia Grill and to Marble Slab. I had a really nice time. I felt we connected really well. I want to surprise him by taking him to the roof of UofA's tallest building to watch the fireworks on Canada Day.

Yesterday, Binh texted me after having not spoken to me in a couple of days. I told him about going out on Saturday and his only response was asking if I met any cute boys. This kid who barely knows me seems to think that's my sole purpose for going out. I shrugged it off and mentioned I had hung out with a cute boy (Mario) the night before. He then called me a slut. (He actually called me a 'sloot' which was a mildly amusing typo). He then asked if I wanted to go to the mall with him later that afternoon. I agreed to go but in hindsight I'm kind of glad I napped through it.

I've never really complained about being called a slut before but something about this person I've barely known for two weeks assuming that's how I spend my free time really upset me. I think what upset me the post was how just on Sunday I decided to reshape my lifestyle and now just two days later, this. He claims it was a joke but isn't that what everyone says? Yes, I will admit, I've had my share of sexual encounters in the past but I don't think it's ever justified to be called a slut. It's not an empowering word and I don't think people are trying to 'take it back'. I've actually been told that some people just automatically assume it about me because of how I look. Which, in my opinion, doesn't really make sense either. 


So, I'm really going to try and lead a sex-free lifestyle and maybe this will help my reputation. It'd be nice if the world were a little less judgmental.